Friday, March 30, 2012

Patterns

It took a fair amount of serendipity to bring me back here, and it couldn't have happened otherwise.

The Unenthused Enthusiast was likely created for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. It was my final creative gasp before drowning. (I presume to know that drowning entails a gasp, although I have reasons to think that drowning is actually remarkably unlike its common portrayal, rendering the previous metaphor incorrect in addition to being silly and melodramatic.) It was conceived in a burst of envy and crisis while I was unable to devote to it either the required attention, effort or love of writing. I was likely too busy eating myself to death to bother.

My new site, now due to launch in just over a week, was frankly brought about in roughly the same circumstances. Perhaps it edged more toward spite than envy and, in place of eating myself to death: yearning to eat myself to death. That's why it took another year, half of which has been spent in ketosis, and a confluence of fortune, to finally realize it.

I also had to regain my love of writing; that's why I'm back.

I am less despondent than the previous paragraphs would indicate. To wit: I feel a warm sense of return merely from worrying out loud and internally about the quality of prose on this old Blogspot, like slipping back into an old coat. (This is a decidedly bellatristic idiom to which I have no personal memorial relationship.)

Google results are an abstract, useless metric. "'Write every day,'" in quotes, yields 1.2 million results. "'Write everyday,'" less than one. I attempted to make a point about the universally agreed upon value of doing so, of writing every day (less so everyday), by comparing that to the results of, say, "'taylor swift'" and "'bieber,'" and for a moment it looked as though I'd found vindication. Why, their numbers were a third of "'write every day.'" (It would have been better to make those last words possessive, but then I would have had to deal with an apostrophe, quotation mark, followed by another apostrophe, and S; it's just too damn early for all that.) Then I noticed I'd been overlooking a set of three zeroes and they actually returned hundreds of millions of results.

But Google results are stupid anyway. I'm going to write every day (not everyday, which is an adjective, and knowing so is one of the everyday benefits of writing every day). If not here, elsewhere, but I've always wanted a journal, so why not? This is going to become more personal, trivial, as my thoughts on mass media become collected by larger projects. But those projects have gaps, and this is a good catchall. I can talk about television here or, hell, review music, just because I can. It's as exciting as it was back in November of 2009, thinking of all the good that will eventually come to this spot, like a man who's just planted a seed and stands smiling above the soil, hopefully, so consumed with his visions of a mighty tree that he can't be bothered to water it.

It's those damn patterns.

No comments:

Post a Comment